Paul and Larry enter a pub, see a sweet-looking girl sitting at a table with no drink
Paul sits across the girl
She looks up
Paul smiles and says
— Hey there, what's your name?
— Fuck off loser!
Paul doesn't miss a beat to respond (even though he's internally appalled by the girl's utter lack of social skills)
— Great to meet you "Fookoff"! I'm "Not Impressed" and this here is my friend...
Paul looks at Larry who follows along just as easily, keeping the best poker face a man could muster
— "Equally Underwhelmed"
Paul chuckles at his companion's ability to keep up and continues
— Since we're being friendly here, "Fookoff", let me get you a tall lesson on manners, on me; excuse me — addressing a passing-by waitress — what's your name?
With a smile just as wide as Paul's, the waitress answers pointing casually at her name badge
— Of course. Hi Ana! I'm Paul, this is Larry, and this here is our newly made acquaintance "Fookoff"; I know, exotic isn't it?!... we're about to leave "Fookoff" to herself. Would you be so kind as to accompany us to our table and take our order there?
— For sure, Paul
— Thanks, Ana — to Fookoff, who's red in anger and disbelief — you can totally share what just happened with your friends on social media, be sure to use the hashtag #ThatAwkwardMomentWhenTheWaitressAtMyLocalPubHasBetterMannersThanMe
Paul gets off the table and offers his arm to Ana
Ana obliges and they walk away
Larry leans toward Fookoff and whispers